Role Reversal
by EmWorden
Summary: What would happen if Katniss was captured and tortured by the Capitol instead of Peeta? Rated for language and violence. Everlark and possibly Hayffie in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Katniss P.O.V.**

When I wake up, my first thought is that I can't move. I can feel that I'm lying on a hard bed with straps coiled tightly around my arms, legs, torso, and head. I'm completely naked, other than what feels like a paper gown. Am I in the Capitol? I try to open my eyes, but close them quickly when my senses are assaulted by bright white light. I pull on the restraints, struggling to free myself, but wince when a restraint on my right arm digs into the cut that Johanna gave me. Suddenly, I hear movement next to me, and I immediately stop struggling. Someone clears their throat, making me nearly jump out of my skin. My heart rate accelerates rapidly, and I can feel it pounding in my chest. I'm trembling as an unfamiliar voice starts talking.

"Sir, I think she's starting to wake up."

Another voice chimes in. "Took her long enough. She certainly took her damn sweet time waking up. She's lucky that he let her sleep this long."

A shiver runs down my spine. Who are these people? How long have I been asleep? I keep my eyes shut as the first voice starts talking again.

"Let's tell Snow that she's awake and ask him what to do with her." My breath stills when they say Snow. I'm definitely in the Capitol. I listen as both of them turn around and walk out. I feel sick to my stomach. I lie there, scared to death, wishing I was dead, when a horrible thought crosses my mind: Peeta. Oh my god, is he here too? Against my better judgement, I call out his name. When there's no reply, I force my eyes open, ignoring the sting of the bright light, and attempt to look around. I quickly realize that I can't move my head even a millimeter because of the restraint around my skull. I can't see anything except the ceiling, so I call out Peeta's name again and again in desperation until I hear footsteps approaching. I smell him before I see him, when the distinct stench of blood and roses comes wafting towards me. I struggle with the restraints again, feeling helpless as the snake-like man crosses into my line of vision. Snow. He smiles widely when he sees me and the stench becomes unbearable. I start gagging as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Miss Everdeen, what an honor! How was your nap?"

"Where's Peeta?" I ask, still squirming in the restraints.

He raises his eyebrows as a sly grin crosses his face. "Oh, my dear, let's not get ahead of ourselves now. We've got some...business... to take care of first. The more you cooperate, the more we'll tell you. Got it?"

"Fine," I snarl.

"Wonderful. Let's get started now, shall we?" He reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out a tiny device and starts typing in it. As soon as he finishes typing, he looks up and smiles again. Almost instantly, I hear more footsteps than I can count enter the room. Two men dressed in white start attaching cold, sticky electrodes all over my body.

"What are those?" I ask, my voice shaking.

"Now, now, Miss Everdeen, remember what I told you about cooperating? We are going to ask you a series of questions. If you don't answer honestly, well, let's just say you're going to regret it." Snow says. The other people in the room start chuckling. "Let's begin."

"First of all, are you associated with the Rebels, yes or no?" Asks Snow.

"The Rebels? I don't even know-" I'm cut off as my body is wracked with a blinding pain, worse than anything I've ever felt before. I'm screaming as my face starts burning. My skin is melting, my head is exploding, my limbs are being ripped off, one fiber at a time. Then, it suddenly stops. I'm left heaving, saliva running out of the corner of my mouth, tears streaming down my face. Miraculously, my body is still intact, even though it feels like I was just torn apart at the seams.

"That's what you get for not cooperating, my dear," Snow says annoyed. "You keep having fun spinning your childish tales and we will have fun watching you get electrocuted. Or, you could just answer honestly and avoid this all together. What do you think?"

I grunt in response, still shaking from the pain coursing throughout my body.

"Alright, next question. What do you know about District Thirteen?" Snow asks.

I'm caught off guard. District Thirteen? What the hell is he talking about? District Thirteen doesn't exist. Or does it? Why else would he be asking me? Maybe-

My thoughts are cut off as the unimaginable pain starts again. I scream, a guttural, animal sound. The pain is agonizing, worse than the last time. My entire body is on fire, slowly burning, melting. Stars are encroaching my vision and I hope I'm dying. Then, the white-hot pain stops. As the initial intensity begins to wear off, I realize that I'm lying in a pool of my own urine.

"Don't want to answer? Another shock. I hope you're starting to learn how this little game works," Snow says slyly.

The pain is still throbbing and stinging throughout my body, and I moan before passing out.

I jolt awake as my face is assailed with ice cold water. I sputter and become instantly aware of the ever present pain.

"Another rule. No passing out. You're going to feel every single ounce of pain," says Snow calmly.

"Please," I croak, my voice a whisper.

"Please what, my dear?" He asks.

"Pl..please s-stop," I whimper.

He shrugs. "Okay." He turns to the other men. "She wants us to stop. Let's take her to the other room."

The men nod, and I breathe a silent sigh of relief as they start pulling off the electrodes. My relief is short-lived though, because they start pushing my bed out of the room. They wheel me into another room, this one pitch black. They put me in the center of the room before closing the door, making me wonder what kind of horrors await me. Snow's evil voice penetrates my thoughts.

"Alright, here we go. Same game, different name. Would you please give Miss Everdeen here an idea of what happens if she chooses to not cooperate?"

"Of course, Sir," answers a voice.

*CRACK*

I jump as the noise echoes throughout the room. Was that a whip? It didn't hit me, so they must've hit a wall. Oh shit.

"You shot your arrow into the forcefield so that the Rebels could rescue you, yes or no?"

I know I have to answer, so I answer as honestly as possible.

"No. I saw Beetee's spear by the tree and decided to-"

Suddenly a sharp pain explodes across my legs, then my stomach, then my arms, and almost every other inch of my body. I bite down hard on my lip trying to keep from screaming, but it's not working as an involuntary scream escapes my lips anyway. By the time the whipping finally ceases, my throat is raw and my body stings. I can feel where every single lash hit. Blood is seeping out of the lashes and down my body. I must have at least 20 lashes. Then Snow asks more questions and no matter how I answer, I'm always wrong and whipped mercilessly. This goes on for an eternity before they finally wheel me out of the room and into another. I probably have at least 80 lashes on my body. When we reach the room, I tense up, anticipating what's to come, when something unexpected happens. The men untie me from the restraints and I can move for the first time since I woke up here.

"Don't you even think about running unless you want more of what happened today, only much worse," says one of the men.

I don't think I could run even if I wanted to because I'm so weak. The men pick me up and throw me on the ground, hard. I hear a crack in my chest as I hit the ground, and I can't breathe. I think I just broke a rib. The men just laugh and close the door, bolting it behind them. As I try to catch my breath, I sit up with great difficulty and take in my surroundings. There is a single flickering lightbulb hanging from a chain. The room is tiny and made of concrete. It's cold, damp, and smells like mold. My paper gown has long since ripped, leaving most of my naked body exposed. I start shivering and collapse into a pathetic heap. I land on the side with the broken rib and gasp because my chest starts burning. I can't get comfortable because my entire body hurts. I roll around, trying to find a position that doesn't press on any lashes or my broken rib. I end up just lying on my back and falling asleep out of pure exhaustion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Katniss P.O.V.**

I'm startled awake by a scream echoing throughout my room.

"KATNISS, HELP!"

Oh my god, Prim! That's Prim's voice! The realization hits me like a brick wall, and I sit up immediately, ignoring the pain blossoming all over my body.

"PRIM! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that Prim isn't here, but hearing her voice makes me lose my ability to think clearly.

Prim's voice starts screaming again. "KATNISS, THEY'RE HURTING ME! KATNISS, PLEASE!"

I start screaming back in a panic. "PLEASE STOP! DON'T HURT HER! TAKE ME INSTEAD!" I run up to the wall and start banging on it with fist, kicking it, clawing at it. I can feel my fresh cuts opening, but I could care less right now. My efforts are futile, though, because the screams continue relentlessly. I curl up in a ball with my hands over my ears and start sobbing. This can't be happening. There's no way they could have Prim. But then again, this is the Capitol. They could have tricked her into coming or captured her for all I know. This tears me apart. Anyone but Prim. Prim's screams are still reverberating in the room when a new voice joins in. Peeta's.

"KATNISS, HELP ME!" screams Peeta.

I'm rocking back and forth and whispering now. "No, please don't. Not Peeta. Please."

As I'm saying this, more voices join in. Gale. My mother. Haymitch and Effie. This awful chorus of suffering continues for an unbelievably long amount of time. Has it been an hour? A day? I've long since stopped trying to cover my ears. I just sit there against the wall, bleeding from my open wounds, trying to tune out the screams. Tears escape from my eyes as I silently plead for the screams to cease. Then, just as quickly as it started, the seemingly perpetual torture suddenly stops. I'm left in complete and utter silence. My ears start ringing as I try to adjust. I sink down the wall, tears coming more rapidly now. My entire body deflates as I sob.

I'm crying and sniveling when the door to my cell flies open. Bright light floods into the room. I startle and start instinctively retreating into the corner. Two dark figures enter and start coming towards me. They grab me by my arms and yank me up. I'm too weak to fight back, so I just let them carry me. They end up taking me to a room with the same table that I was on last time. The restraints are hanging loosely off of it. The men throw me on the table and start tying me down. I try to resist as they tie the restraints, but I tire quickly and soon give up. Again, I end up helpless and at the mercy of these people.

"Sir, she's ready for you," says one of the men.

Within seconds, I hear footsteps approaching and smell blood and and roses. Snow enters the room and bends down to look at me.

"Ah, the Girl On Fire, just who I wanted to see. We've got a special treat in store for you today," says Snow.

I do my best to muster up a nasty glare, but Snow just chuckles.

"Remember, Miss Everdeen. Cooperation is key," he says amusedly. "Hand me the torch please."

The men nod and hand Snow a long metal object with an opening on one end and a button on the handle. Snow presses the button and a massive flame explodes from the opening. He waves it along one of the lashes on my leg. I gasp as the pain starts spreading along my leg. He turns it off, leaving my leg pounding and burning. "Oops, I hit the button too soon," Snow laughs. That asshole actually laughed. "Didn't mean to do that." he says.

"Well you sure did take your time waving that across my leg if it was just an accident," I tell him.

Snow smiles and looks at the men. "I see Miss Everdeen still has that little spark of rebellion. What do you say we teach her a little lesson?" he asks.

"Of course." The men say. Each one pulls out their own metal tube, and they surround my bed. They all press the buttons and hold the flames up to my body. I scream as my arms, legs, stomach, and neck are burnt. They release the tubes after several agonizing seconds. I'm left biting my cheek and breathing heavy, trying not to scream. All of the men, other than Snow, calmly walk to the back of the room.

"Well, I hope you know now not to talk back. Next time, we won't be as generous. Alright, first question. How is Plutarch Heavensbee associated with Haymitch Abernathy and the other rebels?" Snow asks.

Haymitch is associated with Plutarch? And the rebels? He certainly never told me any of this. "I don't know. Haymitch never told me anything,"

"Hell if you don't know," says Snow. He turns on his torch and waves it agonizingly slowly across my stomach.

This goes on for an extremely long time. Eventually I give up trying to answer and end up saying "I don't know" for everything. This infuriates Snow, but I'm not even lying. I have no idea what he is talking about half the time, so I stop trying to understand. They end up getting really fed up with me, so they untie me and throw me back in the cell with promises of an "exciting torture session tomorrow". I'm too tired to care. After sitting in my cell for a few minutes, a little hatch opens up and something comes sliding through. I crawl over to it and find that there is bread and water. I touch the bread with an unsteady hand, not sure if it's a trap. The bread doesn't blow up or anything, so I assume it's safe. I pick it up and start chewing. As I swallow, I realize just how hungry I am. I devour the rest of the bread and drink the water in one gulp. My stomach rumbles for more, but I already feel stronger than I did earlier. I lean against the wall and before I know it, I'm asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Katniss P.O.V.**

I'm startled awake by something smacking into my leg. I jerk awake and look over to see a man holding a rifle standing over me.

"New rule, no sleeping allowed," he says. As if to demonstrate his point, he smacks my leg again with the butt of his rifle. I can already feel a bruise forming on my leg.

"Alright, fine," I growl. I lean back against the wall and glare at the guard. He glares back.

The next several hours pass by in a blur. If I start falling asleep, the guard whacks me with his gun. After a while, he starts hitting me in the ribs, being extra careful to hit me right where my broken rib is. Each time he hits me, it gets harder and harder to breathe. I'm breathing rapidly and it feels like I can't take a deep breath. This just makes me even more tired than I was, so I keep accidentally falling asleep and getting whacked with the rifle. I'm almost relieved when a group of men come streaming in my cell to take me to the "exciting torture session". The relief doesn't last long, though, because the men drag me down an unfamiliar corridor into a big, open room. In the middle of the room is a large wooden frame with ropes on each end. They force me down into the center of the frame so that I'm lying flat and tie my wrists above my head. My ankles are tied down as well. Once I'm secured down, President Snow strides in with a snide look on his face.

"Hello, my dear. I see that you are ready to try out our brand new device!" He looks to the men. "Give her a demonstration, please."

One man presses a button and suddenly the frame starts moving. It pulls my wrists and ankles away from my body at the same time, making them go in two different directions. The man presses the button again, and it stops moving. I can feel the ropes digging into my skin. My chest is on fire, and my breathing becomes even more labored.

"If the machine is turned on again," Snow explains, "your body will be pushed past it's limits, and your joints will slowly dislocate. We don't want that to happen, now do we?" He asks.

I wheeze out something like a reply.

"That's what I thought. In order to prevent that from happening, you will need to cooperate." Snow says.

Snow starts out with a question about the rebellion that I, again, have no knowledge whatsoever on. I weakly whisper "I don't know" and the button is pressed.

There's nothing I can do as my limbs are stretched past their limits. They stretch further and further until finally, my right wrist makes a loud pop, followed by my left ankle. I scream, a breathy, crackling scream, and the men stop the movement.

Snow asks another question, and I say "I don't know" again. The men press the button, and my body is stretched until my other wrist and ankle are dislocated agonizingly slowly.

This goes on for hours until my right knee, left hip, right elbow, and left shoulder are all dislocated. They untie me, and I fall to the ground in a pathetic heap. I lay there, struggling to move, to breathe, to do anything.

"Alright you worthless piece of shit, guess what you get to do?" Asks one of the men. "You get to walk back to your cell. We'll follow, but you get no help."

The men grab me under the armpits and pull me up. The second they let go, my legs collapse under me because of the agonizing pain. They pull me up again.

"What, are you too stupid to walk? Asks one of them.

They let go, and I force my foot to move forward. The pressure is unbearable, making me collapse again. At this point, I'm crying from the pain, tears dripping onto the ground.

"Little bitch _is_ too stupid to walk," one man says to another. They pull me up, and I stand with tremendous difficulty. I start to take a step forward when one of the men shoves me from behind, and I fall. My dislocated wrists take the brunt of it, causing me to cry out. They all start snickering. They grab me under the armpits again and force me on my feet. This time I actually start slowly moving forward. Struggling to catch my breath, I take about two steps before the men get bored and shove me again. This time when I land, I hit my head hard and black out.

When I awaken, I'm back in my dark cell. The guard whacks me with his rifle on my leg. "You're lucky they didn't wake you up and make your lazy ass walk here," he says. I just moan.

My breaths are becoming shallow. It's an enormous struggle to get oxygen into my lungs. The effort it takes to breathe is wearing me out, and I'm becoming very weak. My stomach growls from starvation, and my dislocated joints are grossly swollen. My bones are clearly visible. I vaguely wonder how long I've been here. Days? Weeks? It feels like a lifetime. I hope I die. I can't take much more of this. Maybe I will die, if this keeps going on.

Suddenly, a small hatch opens up on the door, and a note slides through it. The guard bends down to pick it up and reads it quickly. Once he finishes, he yanks me up by the arm, making me whimper.

"Come on, there are some people that you need to see," he says.

I need to see people? I bet it's just Snow and his people, ready to torture me some more. I'm so sure, in fact, that he is just taking me to another torture room that I don't even bother to look where we're headed until we get there. He shoves me into the room, and I crumple to the floor. I manage to lift up my head long enough to see that I'm in a room with a thick pane of glass in the middle, separating the room I'm in from another one on the other side. Behind the glass I see two women being beaten mercilessly. I can't tell who the women are because they aren't facing me. President Snow is standing in the corner of their room.

Then, a guard in my room presses a button and says, "Miss Everdeen is here"

Snow looks up. "Lovely. Annie, Johanna, your friend is here."

Oh my god, Annie and Johanna are here too? I thought I was the only one! I take a better look at the two of them. Annie doesn't look too bad, thankfully, but Johanna is another story. Her hair is shaved off, and there are burns and lacerations covering her body. Neither of them are quite as thin as me, though.

Johanna turns around and looks in the direction of the glass. She has a wild, almost feral, look in her eyes. "Katniss, don't give in! Don't give them the satisfaction!"

She is yanked backwards and shoved to the floor by one the men. She continues to scream, unintelligible under the man. Annie cowers in the corner, her hands over her ears.

Snow looks at them, then looks at me. "Today, you're going to watch your friends get beaten. If you don't cooperate, we will take it out on them," he says. He points to me. "Secure her," he orders.

The men pin my arms behind my back and force me onto my knees. My joints are burning and throbbing as they do so. Annie and Johanna are yanked up from the floor and forced into the same position as me.

Snow looks at our pathetic figures, smiling. "Alright, Miss Everdeen, if you don't answer honestly, you will watch the torture of Miss Mason and Miss Cresta."

Johanna looks up from under her captor and screams, "She doesn't know anything! She-"

Johanna is cut off when she is punched in the jaw by her guard. "No talking!" He shouts.

Johanna grinds her teeth but says nothing. Annie is sobbing.

How am I going to watch these two get tortured? I can't do that to them! Especially since it will be my fault! I bite my lip to keep the tears from falling as Snow asks the first question. When I tell him I don't know, the men push Johanna and Annie onto the ground and start kicking and punching them. Johanna fights back at first, but ends up getting too weak to continue. Annie just screams and tells them, "Please stop, you're hurting me!"

At this point, I'm sobbing. "Stop, take me instead! Please! It's not their fault!" I yell.

"That's right, my dear," says Snow. "It is not their fault. This is all your fault. If you want us to stop, then just answer honestly. It is truly that simple."

I nod, shaking, as tears drip onto the ground. Snow asks question after question, none of which I know the answer to. I'm forced to watch as Johanna and Annie get beaten to pulps, all because of me. This is the worst torture by far. It was less painful when all my joints were dislocated. Finally, the time comes when Snow stops asking questions. Annie and Johanna are picked up, carried into the room I'm in, and deposited next to me. All the guards leave, and then it's just us. I crawl over to Annie and Johanna, ignoring the pain in my body and the fact that I can't breathe. They look at me, both barely conscious.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know what Snow was talking about! This is all my fault!" I sob.

Annie slowly moves her head to look at me. She swallows heavily and whispers, "S'okay. Not your fault." She says this with enormous difficulty.

Johanna also turns to me and says, "Don't be sorry. How could you have known? No one told you anything. This isn't even remotely your fault," she tells me breathlessly.

I nod, my lip trembling. After that, Johanna and Annie close their eyes and start to fall asleep. At first I panic because I think they're dying, but then I realize that they are simply sleeping; I probably should sleep, too. As I'm drifting off, I become more aware than ever of my erratic breathing. I try to line up my breaths with Annie and Johanna's steady ones, but end up dizzy and frustrated. I vaguely wonder if this will kill me. Maybe if I fall asleep I will stop breathing, and I won't wake up. That sounds like heaven right now.

As these thoughts cross my mind, I hear a strange noise outside in the hallway. Quiet footsteps, men giving stern orders. I wrinkle my eyebrows in confusion. Who is outside the door? Suddenly, the door whips open. I immediately cower and attempt to jump in front of Annie and Johanna to protect them. I only get halfway there, though, before a small metal object rolls into the room. Oh my god, is that a grenade? I squeeze my eyes, bracing for the explosion. I'm ready to die. I'm not even scared. After a few seconds go by, I briefly wonder when it will explode. Then, I hear the metal object whistling as it releases a gas. I pass out immediately.

 **A/N:** Hey everyone! Thanks to all that have read/favorited/followed/reviewed so far! It really means alot to me! I hope you're enjoying this story! This last paragraph is the rescue. I was honestly getting really tired of torturing Katniss, so I'm excited to write the next chapter. I'm going to write Chapter 4 in another character's point of view (probably Haymitch and/or Peeta) because I want to detail just how bad Katniss' condition is. Thanks again for reading, I hope you all have a wonderful day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Haymitch P.O.V.**

It has been about three weeks since Katniss blew up the force field. Three weeks of pure hell. When we arrived here in District 13, I was immediately pulled aside by a group of doctors claiming to be my "detox team". They said that since there is no alcohol in District 13, I was going to need to be hospitalized during my withdrawal. It was at that moment that I knew I was not going to like it here.

They dragged me to a secluded, private hospital room. Probably so I don't disturb any other patients with my screams, I remember thinking. The doctors explained that I would most likely experience "life threatening withdrawal" and would need to be closely monitored for about two weeks until all the alcohol was out of my system. Those two weeks were probably some of the worst of my life. Tremors, hallucinations, insomnia. Nightmares that I haven't had for years started to come back, more vivid than ever. I relived my entire Games, start to finish. At one point, I specifically remember my entire body being covered in pink birds, pecking out my flesh. I was convinced that everyone I saw was trying to kill me. Apparently, I also injured a few nurses and doctors during my terrors. According to the doctors, I had three seizures. After about ten days, though, I started to come back to reality. I apologized to all the nurses and doctors I hurt. They said that it's okay, I didn't hurt them badly. Finally after two weeks, the doctors made the decision that I was stable enough to join everyone else in District 13.

The boy has been slowly losing his mind during our time here in District 13. When I told him on the hovercraft that we couldn't get to Katniss in time and that she is in the Capitol, he about killed me. It was actually Coin's decision to get Peeta instead of Katniss. "Better on camera, not as impulsive," she had said. I disagreed, saying that we should save both, but get Katniss before Peeta. She is the Mockingjay, the symbol of the rebellion, after all. Coin wouldn't have it though and was adamant about saving Peeta first. By the time we picked him up, Katniss was long gone. There was nothing I could do.

Peeta had agreed on our second day in District 13 to be the face of the rebellion and shoot some propos, as long as it meant a rescue mission would be arranged for Katniss and the others. According to Plutarch, Coin wanted to put off the rescue mission as long as possible since Peeta would most likely be rendered useless once Katniss was back. After about a week of Katniss, Annie, and Johanna being in the Capitol, a live interview with Annie and Caesar Flickerman aired. This sent Finnick over the edge. He became unreachable, almost catatonic. Peeta saw Finnick's collapse and had a really hard time staying strong. A few days ago, Peeta had a breakdown in front of everyone and had to be sedated. After that, it has been nearly impossible to get a propo out of him, much to Coin's dismay. She finally agreed to arrange the rescue as soon as possible.

Early yesterday morning, there was a dam attack that took out the power to the Capitol. Coin decided that this was an opportunity for us and sent out a rescue team last night. Both Peeta and Gale begged to go, but Coin refused for fear of their "emotions clouding their judgement".

It's now almost midnight. I've been sitting with Peeta in a quiet, abandoned corridor for hours now. We were in command, but Peeta couldn't handle watching the mission, so I took him out here. Neither of us speaks. There's nothing to be said. Command issued me a Communicuff just for today during the rescue. I'm supposed to get an alert when they're back, but I haven't gotten anything yet. Every few minutes, Peeta grabs my wrist and looks at the Communicuff. It's really annoying, but I let him be.

Suddenly, Peeta stands up and starts pacing. He runs his fingers through his hair. "What could possibly be taking so long?" He growls.

"I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't," I answer gently.

He looks up at me, his eyes wet with tears. His voice softens considerably. "I just want her to be okay," he manages.

"I know. Me too," I say. I clear my throat, fighting to keep my emotions in check.

Peeta nods solemnly and sits back down next to me. We sit there in relative silence for about fifteen minutes until the Communicuff starts beeping and vibrating. I jump, and Peeta looks over in confusion, probably thinking he's hearing things. He puts the pieces together fast though, because he shoots up and yanks me from the ground. He starts to speed-walk towards the hospital. He looks back and notices that I'm not even close to him.

" _Come on,_ Haymitch," he says.

"I'm coming!" I yell back. I have to jog to keep up with him. Peeta arrives at the hospital first and opens the door. I jog behind him up to the door, and we both walk in together. The whole place is in chaos. Peeta looks around frantically, looking for any sign of Katniss. Instead we see Johanna. She is thinner than I've ever seen her, and her head is shaved. She is almost unrecognizable. Seeing her stops me in my tracks. It takes Peeta grabbing my arm and pulling me away to snap out of my trance. As we are moving, we come across Finnick and Annie, clinging to one another for dear life. Both of them are crying. Peeta glances but keeps up his pace. Peeta spots a room with a glass window in the front. He starts running up to it, but gets stopped at the last second by Boggs.

"Peeta, before you ask, yes, Katniss is in that room, and no, you can't see her right now. She's in really bad shape. The doctors are prepping her for surgery because she has a lot of major injuries," Boggs says grimly.

"What kind of injuries?" asks Peeta shakily, craning his neck to attempt to look through the window.

"The doctors haven't told me the specifics yet, but she was really bad when we got there. She was almost dead," says Boggs.

Suddenly, the door to Katniss' room flies open and a team of doctors come flowing out, barking orders at each other. They push a stretcher that has Katniss on it.

When I see her, I almost fall over. She is literally skin and bones. Her breaths are uneven as her diaphragm heaves and contracts, trying to force air into her lungs. She already has more tubes covering her body than I could even count. A clear mask covers her nose and mouth.

Peeta, who is now as white as a ghost, follows closely behind the doctors. "Why is she breathing like that?" He asks, hysteria creeping into his voice. When no one answers, he asks more forcefully. "Why is she breathing like that?!"

A doctor lagging behind slows down to get to Peeta and gives him a sad smile. "Hi, Peeta. How about you come with me to the family waiting area. I'll explain what's going on then, okay?" She tells him.

"Okay," he answers, defeated. We watch as the doctors disappear with Katniss into a hallway labeled "Authorized Personnel Only".

"Haymitch, you can come, too," she says as she waves us in the direction of the waiting room.

As we are are approaching the waiting room, I see that there are other people there. As we get closer, I realize that those people are Prim and Ruth Everdeen, Katniss' mom. Gale is there as well.

The doctor motions for Peeta and I to sit down. "Hello, everyone. My name is Dr. Shepherd, and I will be helping to take care of Katniss throughout her recovery. I know that you all have a lot of questions, so I'll just start out by telling you what we know right now. On initial examination, we immediately noticed that Katniss' breathing was very erratic. She was having such a hard time that her lips were actually beginning to turn blue. The medics on the rescue team noticed this right away and tried giving her some oxygen. It helped slightly, but there was nothing else they could do until they arrived to the hospital. Once they got here, we took a chest X-Ray and noticed a very obvious rib fracture."

The doctor turns to a computer in the room and begins typing into it. She pulls up the X-Ray. It's clear, even to me, where the broken rib is. Dr. Shepherd points to the break and says, "Here you see the fracture. When the bone broke, it moved inwards towards her lung and punctured it, causing the lung to collapse. We don't know for sure how long her bone has been broken but a pretty good guess would be about a week. The rib probably didn't immediately puncture her lung. I believe that her lung has been punctured for about two or three days, at most. The surgeons are going to go in and set the rib in its normal position to let it heal. They will also place a chest tube into her chest cavity to drain extra air and fluid. She will likely need a ventilator to help her breathe for several days to let the lung reinflate," Dr. Shepherd pauses for a moment.

I glance around the room. Ruth and Prim are crying. Peeta looks dazed. Gale stares at the floor, his fists clenched tight.

"Does anyone have any questions so far?" asks Dr. Shepherd compassionately.

No one answers. The only sound is the quiet sniffling of Prim and Ruth.

Dr. Shepherd nods. "Okay. I know that this is very stressful for all of you. If you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate. You can even interrupt me if you'd like. So next, after we looked at the broken rib, we noticed that several of her joints were dislocated. I want to say that there were eight dislocations all together. We relocated what we could, but a few joints were just too far out of place. The surgeons are going to open up those areas and relocate the joints manually. The good news is, the joints were not out of place long enough to cause any blood flow problems. The bad news is, she will probably need casts, braces, and therapy as they heal."

The doctor shifts some papers around before speaking again. "The next obvious problem we noticed is how malnourished she is. We started an IV with fluids for now, but we will be inserting a feeding tube that will be kept in for at least a few days until she is able to eat on her own. We also noticed several burn marks, lacerations, and bruises throughout her body. We will be giving her antibiotics to help prevent infection. And, of course, we will give her pain medication," Dr. Shepherd says.

As the doctor finishes talking, I feel something drip on my hand. I look down to find a tear. I quickly wipe my face. I can't cry here. Not yet at least.

Prim gives the doctor a long, hard look before asking a question. She is so quiet I can barely hear her. "So, is that everything wrong with her?"

"Well, for the physical part, yes. At least for now, that is all we know. However, I'm personally very concerned with the psychological aspect. We won't find out for a few days how her psychological state is because we will be keeping her in a medically induced coma. We don't yet know if the Capitol inflicted any mental torture and if so, how it affected her. She is a very strong young lady, but we have no way of predicting how three weeks of torture have affected her already fragile mental state," Dr. Shepherd explains carefully.

Peeta looks up and his eyes start to clear a bit. "So, what are you going to do?" He asks suddenly.

Dr. Shepherd answers, "Well, first of all, we're going to give her body plenty of time to heal. We will do that by letting her get as much rest as she needs once the surgery is over. That could last anywhere from a several hours to several days. It all depends on how fast she heals. We will have a psychologist on hand when she wakes up to assess her condition and determine what treatment, if any, will be needed. Another thing that I would like to do, as long as it's okay with all of you, is to have at least one close family member or friend in her room at all times while she is asleep. That way, if she does wake up, she won't be alone. That person could be either of you or anyone else Katniss trusts."

Ruth wrings her hands. "How long is this surgery going to take?" she asks.

"Probably about 3-6 hours," answers Dr. Shepherd. "I'll have a nurse let you know when they are finished. You might not be able to see her right away, however."

"How long until we can see her?" Asks Ruth.

"I don't know for sure, but it could be anywhere from 4 to 8 hours," says Dr. Shepherd. "Again, we will let you know afterwards and keep you updated throughout."

Everyone sits quietly for a few minutes before Dr. Shepherd asks, "Do you have any other questions, comments, concerns?"

We all shake our heads.

"Okay. Like I said, please don't hesitate to ask questions. There are plenty of nurses here, and I will also be around. We'll update when we can. In the meantime, you guys can just make yourselves at home here," says Dr. Shepherd. She stands up and starts making her way towards the door.

"Thank you, Doctor," says Mrs. Everdeen.

Dr. Shepherd turns around and gives a small smile. "My pleasure," she says as she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N.**

First of all, I just wanted to say how truly sorry I am about the long update time! I've been crazy busy with school, homework, band, etc… I'm hoping to update quickly next time, but I'm not sure due to my crazy schedule. :(

Thank you guys so much for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following! It really means a lot to me. For this chapter, I'm still going to use Haymitch's point of view. I'm even going to bring Effie into the action :).

Also, are there any Grey's Anatomy fans out there? I did name Dr. Shepherd after Derek in case y'all were wondering. I'm honestly still really salty about what happened to him :/. Anyways, without further ado, here is chapter 5!

We all sit there in agonizing silence for a few moments. Mrs. Everdeen hugs Prim as both of them cry. Peeta is crying, Gale is staring off into space. Suddenly, the door slowly opens. Standing there is none other than Effie Trinket. She was picked up from the Capitol and brought to District 13 right after we got Peeta from the arena. She's been trying to adjust to life here in 13 ever since.

Her eyes are swollen and red. It looks like she pulled herself together long enough to come in here, but the second she looks around and sees everyone, she starts crying too.

She looks at Peeta, who is trying to hide his tear-streaked face. "Oh, darling! You poor thing!" she says. She walks up to him and embraces him in a tight hug, whispering soothing things to him. He hugs her back, and he looks like a five-year-old being comforted by his mother. I take a deep breath as Effie releases the hug.

She turns and looks at me. She starts walking over to me, a sad look in her eyes. "Haymitch, dear..." she sighs.

I give a small smile in return. "Hi, Effie," I tell her. I motion for her to sit down next to me.

As she settles in the chair next to me, she asks, "How's Katniss?" The concern in her voice is obvious.

I sigh. "Not very good. The doctor said that she has a broken rib that punctured her lung, eight dislocated joints, burns, cuts, bruises, and that she's malnourished," I tell her.

Effie starts crying again. I'm not sure what to do, so I put my hand on her back and start rubbing circles on it. It feels forced and awkward, but Effie seems to genuinely appreciate it, so I keep going.

The next several hours pass in a blur. Every hour or so, a nurse comes in to update us. The last update was about an hour and a half ago. According to the nurse, the surgeons were finishing up on her rib and starting to relocate her joints. The nurse also said that the surgery would be over soon and that everything was going wonderfully. I don't like hearing from the nurses because they answer our questions too gently. I want honest, straightforward answers, not glowing reports.

As time ticks on, we all start to get somewhat concerned. This surgery really seems to be taking a long time. I can just feel the tension slowly building in the room as another twenty minutes goes by. Gale paces back and forth. Peeta fidgets in his chair. At one point, Effie puts her hand on my leg, and I put my hand on top of hers.

Suddenly the door opens and Dr. Shepherd walks in.

She looks exhausted, but she has a smile on her face. "Good news," she tells us. "The surgeons are stitching up now and Katniss should be in recovery within the next 45 minutes. After that, we'll move her to a room in the ICU and then you can all go see her."

You can almost see the weight being lifted off of our shoulders. Everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief.

"How did the surgery go?" asks Ruth.

"Absolutely perfect. No complications whatsoever, just how we had planned." Dr. Shepherd smiles at her.

Suddenly Peeta glances up. "Is she going to be okay? I mean... will she be in pain?"

Dr. Shepherd sighs before looking at Peeta sadly. "I'm not sure. We are doing everything we possibly can to make sure she doesn't feel any pain, but we can only give her so much medication. She _shouldn't_ feel anything, but there's unfortunately always a possibility. We can, however monitor pain even when she's unconscious. For example, if her blood pressure or heart rate suddenly spike and we can't find anything which would cause that to happen, we generally attribute that to pain. If something like that were to happen, we would definitely give her more pain medication if possible," she answers.

Peeta nods solemnly but doesn't say anything more.

I like this woman. She tells it like it is, even if it's something we don't necessarily want to hear.

Dr. Shepherd asks if we have any more questions. We shake our heads no, and she stands up to leave. As the doctor walks out, I pat Effie's hand. She looks up at me with a tight smile and squeezes my leg. I look around the room. Ruth is as stiff as a board, but her tears have stopped for the moment at least. When I glance at Peeta, I notice that he is trembling. I'm about to walk over to him and see if he's okay, but Effie beats me to it.

She stands up and carefully walks in his direction. She kneels down in front of him, taking one of his hands in hers. "Peeta, dear, I'm sure Katniss will be okay. We just have to wait a little longer and then we can see her," she says carefully.

Peeta nods slowly. After a few moments, he says, "This is all my fault." He starts crying again, his face blotchy and red. His voice shakes as he says, "If I had just gone with her when she took the coil, if I would've just stayed by her side, none of this would've happened. But now, because of me, she's fighting for her life." His voice cuts off with a cracking sound.

"Peeta," Effie starts. "Everyone in this room knows that there's nothing you could've done differently. This is not even remotely your fault. In fact, there is no one to blame but the Capitol," she says.

I'm taken aback. Did I hear that right? Did Effie Trinket really just bad mouth the Capitol? I suppress a smile. Maybe she's not so annoying after all.

As I'm thinking this, the door flies open. A nurse comes in with an expression of pure joy. "Katniss is out of recovery and in the ICU. You can all go see her now if you'd like."

No one hesitates to stand up and follow the nurse out into the hallway. As we're walking, the nurse turns around to talk to us. "Now, I just want to warn you all before you go in the room that it may be shocking to see Katniss. She is in a coma, so there are lots of machines helping her heal. There might also be a lot of people coming in and out of the room, like doctors, nurses, and technicians," says the nurse as we enter the ICU. "However, don't be alarmed; this is all part of the process," the nurse finishes. Effie takes my hand. As we approach Katniss' room, the nurse opens the door and beckons us inside.

Nothing could've prepared me to see Katniss. She is flat on her back, with more tubes snaking in and out of her than I can even count. She has a casts and braces on her arms and legs. There is a thick bandage around her rib cage. I can clearly see her bones jutting out of her emaciated body. A machine breathes for her.

I tear my eyes away to look around the room. Ruth's face is hard and steely as she pulls a chair up to the side of the bed and settles into it. She reaches out to Katniss and carefully takes her hand, the one without a cast. She moves the tubes around a bit so that she can hold Katniss' hand without accidentally pulling anything out.

Effie has a death grip on my hand. Tears stream down her face.

Peers stands frozen in the doorway, his jaw clenched as he fights tears.

Gale stands with his head down. Suddenly, his Communicuff starts vibrating. He jumps, and then he looks at it.

"I... I'm sorry, but I um... I need to go," he says. He glances at Katniss, then Ruth. "Can you let me know how she is?" He asks.

"Yes, of course," says Ruth, her voice trembling slightly.

"Thank you," Gale says before turning around and walking out.

Prim slowly makes her way towards Katniss' bed and stands on the opposite side of Ruth. Prim reaches out and gently brushes some of her sister's hair out of her face. Prim is smoothing back Katniss' hair when a nurse quietly knocks on the door before walking in.

"Hi everyone. I'm just coming to check vitals," she smiles.

Effie and I move towards the wall to get out of her way. Ruth is still holding Katniss' hand when the nurse comes to the bed. As the nurse works, she looks at Ruth. "You can talk to Katniss if you want. She can most likely hear you. You don't have to talk to her right now, but I just thought I'd let you know," says the nurse kindly.

Ruth smiles. "Thank you," she says quietly.

Once the nurse leaves, Ruth turns around to look at us. She clears her throat and speaks quietly when she says, "I have to assist in a surgery tonight, so I won't be able to stay with her, like Dr. Shepherd says. Would anyone feel comfortable enough to stay?"

I raise my hand, "I'll do it. I can't' sleep at night anyway," I say.

Peeta offers as well. I almost say no to let him rest, but decide against it. He won't be sleeping either, not until he knows Katniss is okay.

The day drags on. Doctors and nurses are in and out, checking on Katniss. We all go down to eat dinner and afterwards Ruth leaves for the surgery. Peeta and I head back to Katniss' room for the night. Effie decides to go back to her compartment because she feels like she's intruding. I tell her that she's not, but she is stubborn, so I eventually let her go. I settle into a recliner against the wall while Peeta sits in Ruth's chair close to Katniss' bed. He gingerly takes her hand, somehow avoiding all the tubes. He leans down close to her ear and starts whispering things to her. I can't make out what he's saying. I pretend to sleep in order to give him some privacy.

"Haymitch?" I'm startled as Peeta says my name.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Peeta asks, fear in his voice.

I'm about to reassure him that she will be fine, but then I realize that he's asking me this because he knows I will be honest. Judging by her injuries, I can tell the Capitol had fully intended to kill her as agonizingly slowly as possible. There's no telling just how bad it really was. In fact, she will likely be so traumatized that no one will ever know the full extent of her torture. I know for a fact that she will never be the same. That's if she even recovers. I decide to spare some of the details for Peeta's sake. I let out a breath. "She's hurt pretty bad. It's going to take a long time for her to recover, and that's just the physical part. There's no telling how this affected her mentally. I think she'll get better, but I'm not sure if she will ever be the same." I say.

Peeta nods and looks back down at Katniss, tears quietly streaming down his face.

I hate seeing these kids so broken. They don't deserve this, any of it. I feel immensely guilty about not protecting them, even though I know deep down there's nothing I could've done differently. I know how ruthless the Capitol can be. Even if I had somehow managed to save both of them, the Capitol probably would've bombed District 13 or something. I shudder at the thought, knowing it's true. I decide to pretend to sleep again because the boy is obviously fighting very hard to keep from sobbing. I lay there, listening to the constant beeping and whirring of the machines around Katniss, which barely conceal the sounds of Peeta's soul tearing apart at the seams. I squeeze my eyes tighter to keep from crying as the night wears on, waiting for morning to arrive.


	6. Chapter 6

****A.N.****

 ** _Thank you so much to all who have read/reviewed/favorited/followed! It really means a lot! Sorry for the excessively long update time! Here's the next chapter!_**

 ** **Haymitch P.O.V.****

When I open my eyes, I'm startled to see Ruth standing over me.

"The surgery is over, I can take it from here. You should try and get some rest, Haymitch," Ruth says gently.

"Are you sure? I think you need the rest more than me," I tell her.

"I want to be here in case something happens. And besides, I won't be sleeping anyway, not tonight at least," she replies.

"Okay," I reluctantly agree and start to get up out of the chair I've been sitting in. I look around. It's fairly dark in the room; granted, we are underground, but District 13 still seems to turn down the lights for nighttime. "What time is it?" I ask Ruth.

"About 3 or 4 in the morning," she tells me.

I immediately feel guilty. "Ruth, you haven't gotten a wink of sleep this whole night! I can stay here for a few more hours while you sleep, I'll keep a close eye on Katniss," I promise her.

Ruth looks at Katniss sadly. "I just... I can't leave her! What if-"

I put a hand on her shoulder. "She'll be okay, I promise. And if anything happens, I'll come get you right away," I assure her. "Katniss will be asleep for awhile. You should sleep, too."

Ruth stares at Katniss, contemplating. Finally she looks over at me. "Fine, but just a few hours. I'll be back by seven o'clock," she says.

I nod.

"Thank you, Haymitch. I really appreciate you looking after her," she says, smiling tightly.

"Of course," I say softly. I squeeze her shoulder before dropping my hand to my side.

Ruth carefully makes her way over to Katniss's bed. Peeta still sits in the chair to Katniss' right, holding her hand. Ruth approaches the opposite side and brushes some hair off of Katniss' forehead before ever so gently planting a kiss on her daughter's forehead. She straightens up, her eyes filled with sadness. She moves away from the bed towards the door, patting Peeta's shoulder as she goes. She briefly stops in the doorway, waves to us, and glances at Katniss before turning around and slowly leaving.

I sigh and start to sit back down in the chair. Almost immediately after I sit down, a nurse and a technician come into the room.

"Hello! We're just coming to check on Katniss," the nurse starts. "We will most likely be stopping her medically induced coma soon, probably later today or tonight. She is healing at a tremendous rate," the nurse says enthusiastically.

As the nurse talks, the technician buzzes around Katniss, checking all the machines surrounding her. Peeta stands up and moves towards the back of the room, getting out of their way. The technician checks Katniss' breathing tube and then listens intently to her lungs with a stethoscope. While he listens, he makes some quiet comments to the nurse.

"Excellent breath sounds on both sides," he says. "We can probably wean her off the vent in a few hours," he comments. The nurse nods.

When the technician is done listening to Katniss' lungs, the nurse thoroughly checks the bandages and braces on Katniss and adjusts her IV's.

Soon they finish the examination, and they are gone just as quickly as they came. Peeta runs his hand through his hair, letting out a deep, shaky breath. He looks really tense, so I suggest he go for a quick walk or something for a little distraction, and I'm taken aback by his response.

"No! I can't just leave her!" I'm startled by the harsh tone of his voice. "Look at her, Haymitch! I did this to her, this is completely my fault! I don't care what anyone says," he says, sinking to the ground.

I stand up and walk over to him slowly. I know there's nothing I can say to convince him that it's not his fault, so instead I crouch next to him and do my best to tell him what he needs to hear.

"Listen, boy," I start, placing a hand on his shoulder. "So maybe it was your fault that you split up with her at the tree, but look at her." He glances up at Katniss before quickly looking down and hiding his head in his hands. "You didn't do that to her. You've never laid a hand on her. You are the last person who deserves blame for this. I deserve more blame than you! She's gonna wake up soon, and she's going to need you to be there for her. You won't be able to support her if you keep blaming yourself. Okay?"

Peeta, with his head still in his hands, nods slowly. He takes a deep breath before quietly answering, "Okay."

"Right, good. You're not doing her any good sitting here crying, and you're definitely not doing yourself any good," I tell him, squeezing his shoulder before standing up. As I make my way back to my chair, I tell him over my shoulder, "Go talk to her or something. She's supposed to be able to hear you, anyway." As I sit down, Peeta stands up and walks over to Katniss. He sits down and takes her hand again. After a few moments, I hear him quietly say, "I love you, Katniss. Don't forget that."

For the next couple of hours, Peeta stays inthe same spot, talking to Katniss occasionally.

Ruth comes back after getting some rest, if that's what you want to call it. She tells me that she slept for maybe 3 minutes total. "How can I sleep knowing my daughter is in the ICU?" She asks, exasperated. I try reassure her that Katniss will be woken up in a few hours because she is getting better, but Ruth just nods sadly, not taking her eyes off of the tiny, unconscious girl in the hospital bed.

Suddenly, the door opens and Dr. Shepherd, along with two nurses and a technician, all come into the room. "Hi everyone!" Says Dr. Shepherd. "We're going to start lowering the medication that is keeping Katniss asleep and get ready for her to wake up."

"How long before she starts to wake up?" I ask.

"Probably about twenty minutes," answers Dr. Shepherd.

The technician begins to press buttons on the machines around Katniss while the nurses perform a quick examination on Katniss.

"Unfortunately Katniss is going to have to be somewhat awake and alert before we can take out the breathing tube. She'll probably be pretty freaked out by the fact that there is something in her throat, so be prepared for that if you are planning on watching," Dr. Shepherd tells us.

I nod and look around. Peeta looks scared. Ruth has gone completely pale, her eyes glassy. Just then, Ruth's pager goes off, startling everyone in the room. She looks at it, and an unreadable expression crosses her face. "I think I have to take this," she tells us in a somewhat detached voice. She gets up and walks out.

I can't help but feel bitter disdain towards Ruth. Whenever things get too hard for her, she just checks out! She shouldn't be able to walk out and leave her own daughter in the hands of strangers when Katniss is at her weakest and needs her mom the most.

Moments later, someone walks hesitantly into the room. I look over to see Effie slowly making her way towards me. "I heard that Katniss was going to wake up soon, and I just thought I should be here when she does," says Effie, looking at Katniss sadly.

"I'm sure she'll appreciate you being here," I tell Effie when she gets closer to me. Effie reaches her hand out to me, and I take hers in mine, giving it a light squeeze.

"Katniss will start waking up any moment now," says Dr. Shepherd. "We have a psychologist nearby in case she needs it."

"Thank you," I tell Dr. Shepherd, who smiles and nods.

Sure enough, within a few minutes, Katniss starts moving around a bit in the bed. First just her fingers twitch, and then she starts moving her arms and legs. She scrunches her face up and starts reaching one of her hands up towards her face and the breathing tube. The nurses, who are watching her closely, gently hold her hand to stop her from touching the breathing tube. Katniss tries to pull her hand away, but the nurses keep a firm grip on it. She tries to lift her other hand, but one of the nurses holds that one, too. Katniss starts to become more and more frantic. With each passing second, I can tell that Katniss gets more aware of the fact that there is something in her throat. Soon, she's gagging, but no sound comes out because the tube is blocking it. Katniss opens her eyes, and they are filled with fear. Silent tears slide down her face.

Dr. Shepherd starts talking to Katniss in a calm, comforting voice. "Now, Katniss, I know you're scared, but everything is going to be just fine. All you need to do is wiggle your toes for me, and then we will take out that thing in your throat, okay honey?" Dr. Shepherd lifts up the blanket, revealing Katniss' feet. "Just wiggle your toes, can you do that for me?"

To her unending credit, Katniss manages to somehow set her fear aside for a moment and move her toes.

Dr. Shepherd wastes no time in telling the nurses and technician to take out the breathing tube. "Alright, she's alert. Take it out."

The nurses continue to hold Katniss' hands while the technician pulls out the tube in one swift motion. Katniss coughs and gags, and Dr. Shepherd places a clear mask over Katniss' face. Dr. Shepherd holds the mask on Katniss' face until her breathing starts to become more even. Once Katniss stops coughing and is breathing more consistently, Dr. Shepherd removes the mask and places a clear tube in Katniss' nose.

"Your throat is going to be a little sore for a while, okay Katniss?" Says Dr. Shepherd. "But that's completely normal. It should go away in a few days." Dr. Shepherd looks at Peeta, Effie, and I. "We're going to get out of your way now so you can talk to her. We won't be far in case you need us," she says as she leaves with the nurses and technician.

We all start to slowly make our way towards the bed. Effie has had a death grip on my hand for a while now; I didn't realize how strong she is!

We all carefully watch Katniss as she starts to wake up. As she starts to open her eyes more, Peeta starts talking to her. "Hi Katniss, sweetie, how are you feeling?"

Katniss' eyes dart to his, then to mine and Effie's. She shifts uncomfortably in the bed. I can hear her heart monitor speeding up. Something's wrong. I don't think Peeta realizes this, though, because he asks her again how she is feeling. Katniss looks back at him. She opens her mouth and tries to speak, but her voice is weak and gravelly.

"What was that, sweetheart?" I ask.

"I..I don't.." Katniss says. Her heart rate speeds up even more, and I can see sweat forming on her upper lip. There's definitely something wrong.

"I…don't know.." She says. Her eyes start to get a bit glazed over. "I don't know, I don't know," she repeats, louder.. "I swear, I don't know anything. Please, I...I don't know!" Her voice, raspy and raw, gets louder yet. "I don't know! I don't know!" She pulls her legs to her chest, covers her ears, and starts rocking back and forth. Peeta tries to rub her back, but she instinctively twists away.

I push the call button on the wall and a voice pops up. "Can we help you?" It says. I don't say anything, as Katniss speaks for herself.

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know…"

"I'm sending someone in," says the voice before quickly hanging up.

A nurse rushes in, quickly surveys the scene, and without a moment's hesitation, plunges a needle into Katniss' arm. Katniss goes limp almost immediately and falls unconscious.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N.**

 _Thank you so much to everyone who is reading/favoriting/following/reviewing! It means more to me than you could even imagine! I'm going to try to write from a few different P.O.V.'s during this chapter, so bear with me!_

 **Katniss P.O.V.**

The world is black and everything hurts. I'm flying, floating, drifting along, being pushed by the wind. Sometimes I see my father, motioning with his hand for me to follow him, begging me to come with him. I try to follow him, I really do, but the wind is too strong and always drags me away. There are moments when I hear strange sounds, smell strange odors. But they, like my father, are gone too quickly, and I cannot decipher them.

At one point, I start to register that I am lying down on something soft. For a few blissful moments, I feel myself sink further and further into its depths, a warm comfort spreading throughout my body. But then, the softness becomes too much and it's strangling me. My mouth and throat are full of cotton, and I can't breathe. I try to open my eyes, but the light is blinding. I reach my hand to my face to try and pull out the cotton, but something warm and firm gets in the way. I try to use my other hand, but I encounter the same roadblock. The cotton becomes too much, so I attempt to cough it out. My efforts are futile, though, because I make no sound, and the cotton doesn't budge. I open my eyes in a panic, but the light is so bright I can't see anything. I feel tears rolling down my face.

Then there is a voice in the distance, soft yet commanding, telling me to do something. It's so muffled, I can only make out bits and pieces. "...Katniss...just fine...toes...your throat... toes…can you..."

Why does the voice keep saying toes? I force myself to remember what toes are, why they are important. I vaguely recall that toes are below me, on my feet. I can't feel them, so I move them to make sure they're still there. Immediately after doing so, the soft voice makes a curt command that I can't make out and then the cotton is gone. It's easier to breathe, but not much. I'm gagging as something cold and plastic presses against my face. I cough into it while trying to force air down my burning throat and into my lungs. Soon I can breathe normally and the plastic is gone, replaced with something cool that tickles my nose

"Your throat..sore..while...normal...few days…" the voice says. I wish I could make out more of what is being said, so I start to force myself to wake up more and focus. I manage to concentrate long enough to hear, "We're going to get out of your way now so you can talk to her. We won't be far in case you need us." Who are they talking about? What is going on? My jumbled brain can't make sense of anything.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I'm in a Capitol hospital. I wish I were dead. Why can't they just let me die? Haven't they tortured me enough? They're probably going to patch me up in this hospital just to send me off for more misery.

I hear quiet footsteps getting closer and closer to me. A chill runs down my spine as I have the unmistakable feeling of being watched. I open my eyes more, and I can tell that I am completely surrounded by people.

"Hi Katniss, sweetie, how are you feeling?" Asks a gentle voice. The voice sounds remarkably familiar, but my brain can't come up with the name. I try to focus my eyes on the people in the room, but, to my immense frustration, I can't make out who they are. I feel so vulnerable and exposed.

The gentle, familiar voice asks me how I'm feeling once more, and something in me snaps. This is just another one of their interrogation techniques! I'm filled with dread as I come to this realization. I try to answer with my default "I don't know", but upon trying to speak, I become uncomfortably aware of the rawness of my throat. My voice is harsh and grating and impossible to understand.

"What was that sweetheart?" Asks a different voice.

Why can't they just let me die? How many times do I have to tell them I don't know anything? "I..I don't.." I manage to get out. "I...don't know…" I say, my throat on fire. My eyes are starting to focus more, and I catch sight of light colored hair near me. Snow is here. I swear I can smell the blood and roses. I begin to panic as the realization sets in.

"I don't know, I don't know," I say. "I swear, I don't know anything. Please, I… I don't know!" The people around me don't move, staring intently at me. Can they not hear me? I raise my voice, as loud as my raw throat will allow. "I don't know! I don't know!"

Snow and his men are all inching closer to me ever so slowly. I pull my knees to my chest protectively, closing my eyes and covering my ears. I don't want to see or hear them. I just want to die already. I can feel all of their eyes trained on me. Why can't they just kill me! I start rocking back and forth, repeating "I don't know, I don't know... "

Suddenly, a hand falls on my back, and I know they are getting ready to torture me. I twist away, trying my hardest to put up a fight, to make it hard for them to take me away. "I don't know, I don't know," I repeat. How many times do I have to tell them? I'm useless, just kill me already!

I feel a hand grab my upper arm, and a needle slides into my arm before I can get out of their grasp. They drugged me! They fucking drugged me!

The drug takes effect rapidly, and I can feel myself being pulled into the inky blackness. Before I fall unconscious, one last thought crosses my mind: Please let me die.

 **Prim P.O.V.**

When Katniss was brought to District 13 after being tortured in the Capitol, she was practically unrecognizable. I've never seen Katniss, my strong, brave sister, look so weak and helpless. Watching her on the gurney, struggling to breathe, was terrifying. Nothing could've prepared me to see Katniss in that shape- not all those times growing up when I would watch mother desperately try to save the sickest, most gravely injured people, and not the time that I spent here in 13 training to be a doctor seeing critical injuries from military weapons and vehicles. I've always been told that taking care of people you don't know is easier than taking care of those you love. Honestly, I never used to believe that because I always get extremely attached to all my patients; it's hard to care for sick, injured human beings. I figured it would be pretty much the same thing for a loved one, but that all changed when I saw Katniss after being tortured.

I thought that I would be able to assist the doctors with Katniss's care, but the moment she came through the doors into the triage area, I started crying and couldn't stop. I couldn't tear my eyes away from all the commotion going on around my sister. Doctors yelling orders, nurses running in and out with handfuls of supplies, technicians attaching Katniss to more machines than I could count, Katniss fighting to breathe. I knew that I was in the way of the trauma team, but I couldn't move; it was like my feet were made of lead, rooted to the floor. After several minutes of standing there, completely frozen, one kind nurse happened to notice me and came towards me.

"Come on, honey, let's go find your mom," she had told me. She firmly grabbed my shoulders and all but dragged me out of the room. As she propelled me towards the family waiting area, the tears started to flow more freely. The nurse draped an arm around my shoulders. "It'll be okay, sweetie. She'll be okay. I know it looked really scary in there, but we just needed to stabilize her. Everything's gonna be fine," she had said.

I simply nodded, knowing that the nurse, although very kind, was probably lying in order to calm me down. When we reached the family waiting area, mother and Gale were already there. A sad look crossed mother's face when she saw the state I was in, and she held her arms out to me. I walked to her, the nurse patting my shoulder as I went, and fell into her embrace. The nurse turned to leave, and mother whispered a quiet "thank you" to her over my shoulder as she left. Mother guided us to a chair, and I sat on her lap, like a child, while she comforted me.

I felt so selfish, sitting there being comforted by mother, while Katniss was probably dying somewhere in the hospital surrounded by strangers. I remember thinking, 'If only I were stronger, I could've stayed with Katniss, been there for her. But instead, I had to lose my cool and be taken out of the room. I deserve no sympathy.'

As these thoughts were crossing my mind, I remember the door opening to the room. A doctor, along with Haymitch and a very distraught Peeta, came into the room. The doctor, named Dr. Shepherd, briefed us on Katniss's condition before leaving to get back to work. I don't remember much after that until Katniss got out of surgery when we were finally able to see her.

When we had entered Katniss's room in the ICU, she looked so weak and frail. The big hospital bed looked like it could swallow her whole. I almost lost control of my emotions again, but I was able to contain my tears; I needed to be strong for Katniss. Mother quietly approached Katniss's bed and gently took her hand. Gale's Communicuff had gone off, startling us all, and prompting Gale to leave.

I had been finding it increasingly difficult to control my tears, and I remember biting my lip until I tasted blood. A single tear rolled down my cheek against my will. I quickly wiped it away.

'Just stop crying!' I internally chastised myself. 'Katniss needs you,' I told myself. I took a deep breath and went to Katniss's bedside on the opposite side of mother. I had reached out with a shaky hand and brushed some of my sister's hair off of her forehead. I vaguely recall a nurse coming in and telling mother something about Katniss. I honestly wasn't paying attention at all to what the nurse had been saying because I was so focused on my sister. Once the nurse left, mother said that she wouldn't be able to stay with Katniss overnight because she had to assist in a surgery. Haymitch and Peeta immediately volunteered to stay. I wanted to as well, but I knew that, 1. No one would let me, and 2. I had to work in the hospital the next day and needed to get up early. However, I still planned on staying with Katniss as long as I could.

I stayed by Katniss's side all day, until we all went down to get dinner. At dinner, Peeta sat by me and asked me how I was doing. I told him I was hanging in there and that I wished I could stay with Katniss overnight. Peeta told me that it was better for me to get some rest because when Katniss wakes up, she's going to need her sister to be awake as well.

I had to crack a small smile at that. Gosh, Peeta always knows what to say. Katniss is pretty lucky to have a guy like him.

After dinner, mother took me up to our Compartment for the night. Once I was settled in, she left to help with the surgery.

I tossed and turned that night, not really sleeping at all. When morning finally came, I got up and changed into my work clothes before heading to breakfast. After breakfast, I went up to the hospital and met with the attending physician who told me where I needed to go. I passed by the ICU doors as I was heading to the room of the patient I was in charge of for the day and was hit by a wave of sadness because I knew Katniss was behind those doors.

When I got further down the hall, I heard a commotion coming from the ICU. I immediately stopped and turned around, listening. I could still hear the commotion, so I started heading back towards the doors. As I got nearer, I started hearing muffled shouting from behind the doors. I quickened my pace and yanked open the ICU doors. My ears were assaulted with a female voice screaming "I don't know!" over and over again. I remember thinking how familiar the voice sounded. And then I remember feeling like I had just been hit with a brick wall when I realized the voice belonged to my sister.

* * *

"What happened?" I demand.

I'm standing in Katniss's room with Haymitch, Effie, and Peeta. Neither of them is making eye contact with me. Katniss is unconscious in the bed.

Suddenly, Peeta looks up at me. "Prim, how about we go for a walk, I can explain everything," he said gently.

"No!" I yelled. "No, I'm not going anywhere until someone tells me what happened! You can't just kick me out whenever you want because I'm too young! I know it's probably more convenient for you all with me gone, but I deserve to know too! I'm 13, I can handle it! Just tell-" I'm cut off as Peeta interrupts me.

"You're exactly right, Prim, I'm sorry," he says gently. "I didn't mean it like that. I just thought-" This time I cut off Peeta, feeling horrible for what I said.

"I know, Peeta," I start, defeated. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. I don't know what got into me," I say.

"You're stressed and scared, Prim, that's what got into you," says Haymitch. He looks at me with a knowing look and then says, "And I'll bet that you didn't sleep well last night either."

I nod miserably.

"Look," Haymitch continues. "I'll tell you what happened with Katniss, and I'm gonna tell it like it is. And trust me, it's not pretty. Is that okay?" He asks.

I nod once more.

"Okay, good. Well, the doctors came in this morning and started waking up Katniss. They took out her breathing tube, which really freaked her out, and then she started to wake up. When she woke up and saw all of us surrounding her, she got really overwhelmed. I don't think she recognized any of us. We asked her how she felt and all that, and then she started to go into a panic. She kept saying 'I don't know, I don't know,' over and over again. Eventually she was yelling, pretty damn loud I might add, that she didn't know anything. I pressed the call button for a nurse. The nurse came in pretty quickly and sedated her. She's okay, though, just freaked out and confused," Haymitch finishes.

"Why was she saying 'I don't know' over and over?" I ask.

Haymitch takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He looks down at his shoes, clenching his jaw, not answering.

Effie looks at him, concerned. She puts her hand on Haymitch's shoulder and says, "Haymitch, dear, what's the matter? Prim has a good question."

I glance at Peeta, who looks terrified. "Haymitch," Peeta starts cautiously. "Why was she acting like that, do you know?"

Finally Haymitch looks up. "Yes, boy, I know why," he says, annoyed.

We all hold our breath as Haymitch continues.

"Alright, well, when the Capitol picked up Katniss, I can guarantee that she was tied down and asked a bunch of questions about the rebellion, District 13, shit like that. And I can also guarantee that she had no fuckin' idea what they were talking about because no one told her or Peeta anything about the rebellion besides subtle hints here and there. So, putting the pieces together here, we can all assume that when she was asked these questions, she said 'I don't know' because she literally had no idea what they were talking about. The Capitol picked up Katniss because they know she's extremely valuable to the cause, and they probably figured that she knew a lot of important information about the rebellion. So, when Katniss told them she didn't know anything, they most likely thought she was lying to protect the rebellion. That probably pissed them off, and as a result, they tried torturing her to get the information out of her," Haymitch pauses and looks sadly at the small girl in the hospital bed. His voice softens. "Whippings, beatings, burns, starvation, there's no limit to the Capitol's cruelty. Especially to an important person, like Katniss, that they think is deliberately lying to them. And honestly, her physical problems are no doubt the least of her worries compared to what they did to her mentally," Haymitch's voice catches on the last word. He clears his throat and takes a deep breath before continuing. "Flash forward to today, when we started asking her questions, innocent as they were, she thought she was still in the Capitol being interrogated and tortured for information that she didn't have," Haymitch finishes.

The weight of Haymitch's words hang in the air. Everyone sits, rigid and terrified, as we realize the implications of what he is saying. No one says anything for a while. We just stare at Katniss dejectedly.

Peeta's voice breaks the silence, causing us all to jump. "So, what do we do? I mean, how do we help her?" He asks sadly.

Haymitch sighs. "We love her, tell her that we aren't going to hurt her. Show her that she can trust us, and tell her that she's safe now. That's all you really can do," He says.

At that, Peeta nods, stands up, and walks over to Katniss. He pulls a chair up to the side of the bed and sits down, taking Katniss's hand. He starts talking to her in a quiet voice. I can't hear most of what he is saying, but I can make out a few things, like "I'm so sorry," and "It's over now."

After a few minutes, I walk over and stand next to Peeta. I put one hand on Peeta's shoulder and another hand on Katniss's arm. Peeta acknowledges me with a small smile. We sit in relative silence for a few moments until a nurse comes into the room, carrying a bag filled with something I can't make out.

"Hi everyone," the nurse greets. "Just thought I'd let you know that lunch is going to be over soon, so if you're hungry, you should head down now," he says.

No one moves.

The nurse looks around. "I mean, like, now. It'll be over in a few minutes," he says somewhat impatiently.

Peeta starts to stand up. "Alright, we'll go," he says. "Come on, Prim," he tells me. Peeta looks towards Haymitch and Effie, both of whom are still in the same spot. "Haymitch, Effie, are you guys coming?"

"Sure, I may as well," says Effie as she stands up and starts to make her way towards Prim and I.

"Haymitch?" asks Peeta.

I look at Haymitch, who is currently glaring daggers at the nurse.

"Nope," Haymitch starts. "I'm staying right here," he says, without taking his eyes off the nurse.

"Okay," Peeta says. "Just don't come crying to me when you're hungry later on," Peeta jokes, but no one laughs. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

"Let's go, guys," says Peeta gently as he leads Effie and I out of the room.

 **Haymitch P.O.V.**

Once Peeta, Prim, and Effie leave the room, the nurse looks at me. "I hope you realize that the district doesn't take kindly to people skipping meals," he tells me.

"And I hope _you_ realize that Katniss won't take kindly to buffoons like you restraining her," I shoot back.

He is clearly taken aback. "How do you know I'm restraining her?"

"The bag, my friend," I tell him, pointing to the bag he's carrying. "I was tied down enough times during my withdrawal to recognize the bag you people use to hold the restraints," I say.

"Well, Mr. Abernathy, you're absolutely right," says the nurse as he starts to take the restraints out of the bag. "And I'm sorry, but these are doctors orders," he says pompously.

He takes a large restraint out of the bag, lays it across Katniss's waist, and begins securing it under the bed.

I start walking towards him. "I won't allow it," I say.

"Excuse me?" asks the nurse.

"I _said_ I won't allow it. Take the restraints off," I say, my voice rising in anger.

"Well, unfortunately, Mr. Abernathy, you have absolutely no say in Katniss's care," he tells me as he grabs more restraints out of the bag and begins tying down Katniss's hands.

"Oh, really? That's funny, because last time I checked, I was Katniss's legal guardian," I say.

"Well, the last time _I_ checked, Katniss's mother was her guardian," he says.

"I'm the guardian when Katniss's mother is unavailable," I start. "So, you can either do as I say and take off the restraints, or I'll have Ruth Everdeen paged down here. And I can guarantee she won't take kindly to her daughter being tied down against her will," I say.

"We can't page doctors for meaningless reasons like this," he explains irritably as he takes more restraints out of the bag and moves to tie down Katniss's ankles. "The pager is to be used for emergencies only."

"Well, okay," I say. "In that case, I want to talk to the doctor that authorized the restraints," I say.

The nurse finishes tying the last restraint on Katniss's ankle. "Fine," he says. "I'll get the doctor in here. But I can guarantee he won't take kindly to an alcoholic telling him how to do his job," he practically spits.

It takes all my self control to not punch this guy in the face. "Excellent," I tell him.

The nurse leaves to get the doctor.

A few minutes later, a tall, balding man saunters into the room. "Hello! My name is Dr. Spencer Blackwell," says the doctor, holding out his hand.

"Haymitch Abernathy," I growl, shaking his hand.

"What an honor indeed it is to meet you! I've heard so much about-" he stops as I interrupt him.

"Let's just cut to the chase, doc. Why is my victor in restraints?" I say.

"Well, when Katniss started to rock back and forth, she pulled out some IV's and almost re injured some of her joints, so we think it would be safest for now if we kept her tied down," Dr. Blackwell answers patiently.

Hot rage builds inside me. "So let me get this straight- you're more worried about some IV's than her mental state? I can guarantee that when Katniss wakes up and realizes she's tied down, she's going to do a lot worse than just rocking back and forth," I spit out angrily.

"Look, Mr. Abernathy, I know that it can be...distressing… to say the least, to see her tied down like this," he starts.

"But it's not 'distressing' for me! I've seen her tied down more times than I can count! Hell, I've tied her down myself at least once! I just don't understand why she has to be restrained now. You do realize that it will probably make her worse, and that there's a really good chance she was tied up in the Capitol when they were, you know, torturing her?" I ask in exasperation.

Dr. Blackwell pinches the bridge of his nose. "How about this-we take off the waist and ankle restraints, but leave the wrist-" I cut him off.

"No! No damn restraints!" I yell.

"Hear me out," he says calmly. "We take off most of them, but leave the wrist restraints on. It'll be safer that way."

"But she's not endangering anyone," I say.

"She's endangering herself," he says.

"Well, why wasn't she tied down before? Since she's so 'dangerous'?" I ask.

"We didn't know how she was going to react. She could've been calm, she could've been violent. We just wanted to test the waters a bit before making a decision," he answers.

"And her 'rocking back and forth' was considered violent?" I snarl.

"No, but it was considered dangerous for her health," says the doctor.

I sigh. "You people are impossible! Do you even hear a word I'm saying? I know Katniss a whole lot better than any of you. She'll be _more_ violent tied down!" I yell in frustration.

"I'm sorry, but the best I can do is take off the waist and ankle restraints. We can't put her in danger," he says.

Now I'm really mad. "How about I break your fucking arm and tie you down and see how you like it?" I scream.

"Haymitch-" starts Dr. Blackwell carefully.

"I'll slam your damned head into a wall!" I say as I raise my fist up towards him.

While I'm yelling, Dr. Blackwell presses the call button on the wall and calmly says, "Security."

Within seconds, several men rush into the room and start dragging me out. "You'll pay for this!" I scream. "Somebody oughta come in here and tie _you_ down! Serve you right! Get a taste of your own shitty medicine!" I keep screaming as I'm dragged from the room. Eventually the guards bring me to my old detox room in the hospital. They deposit me on the bed and leave, closing and locking the door behind them.

"Well shit," I say.


End file.
